Being around my brother all the time, I let his dumb antics get to me. One thing that drives me crazy is when I'm practicing cello and he starts whistling along. He know I hate it and he does it anyway. Sometimes it makes me really upset but then I realize that I'm getting worked up for nothing. I try to let it not bother me and have the perspective that if I ignore it he won't do it any more.
Chapter 2: How does your ego distract you?
When I put in a lot of work into something, I get very protective over it and often refuse to take constructive criticism. This is because my ego leads me to believe that if it is my best work, then it is the best it could ever be. When I write a paper and self edit, I don't like letting other people review it because I know it is my best work, but I also know that if they edit it will be even better. In a situation like this I would try to set my ego aside and focus on the result not myself.
Chapter 3: "When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
When we have inner peace, the smaller things don't bug us. When we are centered, we don't worry about the other things as much. We can concentrate on what's at hand and we can put our energy into that instead of stressing out about other things. For example, my anxiety can sometimes stop me from being able to concentrate on homework if I have something that I am nervous about and can keep me from relaxing. When I work to center myself, I am able to concentrate better on the task at hand.
Chapter 4: Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
When my thinking is out of control, my body aches. I often get stomach pain and sometimes I throw up. When this happens, I can easily catch myself and know when I need to relax and find something else to focus on.
Chapter 5: What does your "in basket" look like? And will it be there tomorrow?
My in basket is cleaning my room, doing the dishes, practicing cello, and doing homework. I have the same responsibilities every day and they aren't going away. This is important because when the stress builds up I know that it's still going to be there tomorrow and I need to rethink my strategies because I can't get it done for good.
Chapter 6: Can you recall a time when you made something "big" and in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
Because I struggle with anxiety, this is an often occurrence for me. I often stress out about somewhat unlikely situations. For example. one time I got really stressed out that my dad would fall asleep and lock me out because I didn't have my key. Instead of focusing on what I was doing, I got stressed out about that and left early because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get in. This didn't happen and my dad stayed up like he said he would.
Chapter 7: Would you consider yourself a good listener?
I think I am a strong listener. I often have debates with people and one thing i had to learn is how to make other people feel respected while at the same time arguing them and trying to show how they are wrong. I think I can improve on not interrupting people sometimes but overall I would consider myself a good listener. I use listening skills when I’m trying to console a friend and practice empathy instead of sympathy.
Chapter 8: Recall a time where you have given. Did you expect acknowledgment?
One time I have given is when I have served at the Salvation Army. One thing I have learned is that you can’t do it for praise, you have to do it for yourself. But in comparison to serving at for example the school barbeque, the people at the Salvation Army are much more appreciative of us serving them so that is one thing that was recognition.
Chapter 12: Challenge, let others be right most of the time
For me this was very difficult because I am a very argumentative person. I found that it strengthened my relationships with family and friends to not constantly argue and let others be right most of the time, so i will be working on this
Chapter 13: Reflective Moment
Sometimes I have moments when I realize that nothing going on right now will matter in a year. I call these my floating rock moments, when I realize I’m living on a floating rock in the universe and nothing really matters. I try to balance these so I focus on things that are important to me, but also know that in the end it may not matter.
Chapter 14: Mantra
My personal mantra is “you got this”. I have performance anxiety and it makes me feel like i’m not enough or i’m not ready to do something, so I use this to remind myself that I am enough and I am capable of doing anything.
Chapter 15: Big split over little things
Have you lost a relationship because something “small” created a “big” divide?
I have lost a relationship with one of my friends because of differing political views. I am very outspoken politically and very few people have views similar to mine, and this can be off putting to many people. I personally accept everyone as long as they believe in the same human rights that I do, but it doesn’t mean that everyone else wants to do the same. I have lost a friend because I said something small that offended her beliefs.
Chapter 16: A Year from now
What do you hope to do a year from now?
A year from now, I hope I am finished with my college applications, back in inperson school. I also hope I am in a better place mentally than right now. I want to be doing an internship if sports do not happen and be working for Planned Parenthood. I want to have improved relationships with the friends I have now and also make new friends.
Chapter 17: Life isn't fair
Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
Life will never be completely fair, but we need to strive for a more fair society. We can never have true equality, in the same way no person can be perfect because of human nature. However, we can progress as a society for more equality.
Chapter 18: Boredom
Do you take the time to be bored?
I used to not take the time to be bored before, but during break I got grounded. This was really boring for me, but I took the time to reflect in my thoughts and pick up old hobbies that I used to really enjoy.
Chapter 19: High Stress
Have you been taught to believe that high stress is a positive thing?
I was taught growing up that working well under pressure is important, but that stress is not a good thing. I also learned that stress is sometimes unavoidable in our lives. For example, growing up, I learned that during show weeks, we had unavoidable stress and to learn how to handle the stress.
Chapter 20
is the last time you sat down to write a letter?
I met my friend Nayah through interesting circumstances. She was the girl my ex cheated on me with not to her knowing, so obviously we have a superior bond. I wrote her a letter 2 weeks ago about colleges and about random stuff. I also write dallas letters but now that he is in Mexico, I just write him emails.
Chapter 21
If you could change anything right now, what would it be?
One thing I would change in my life, I would chemically balance my brain. So much of my mental state is out of my control until I get help. It’s like getting pushed into a pit. I can climb out of the pit with my own strength or get help, but I can’t control the fact that I got pushed in. I feel like my quality of life would be better and I wouldn’t feel like crap so much.
Chapter 22
People put pressure on me or rely on me and this freaks me out. I tend to make things a bigger deal than they actually are. For example, I served at the homeless shelter and i was in charge of all the cooking. We did not have the fridge space to do much in advance so I spent 8 hours cooking for 250+ people. By the time I was finished I realized how unnecessary all my stress was.
Chapter 23
the quote " it puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that have no immediate answer for", to me, means that it takes the most important part of our brains to deal with big decisions, One example of this in my life is the decision of what college to go to, and what career to persue. If i try to make this decision all at once. I will be stressed and not know what to do. This is so important in my life because as a senior, I am making many big decisions in my life and it is important not to ignore them but also not stress them too hard.
Chapter 24:
I would like to thank my coworker Tabby. She is the person I can always go to when something goes wrong. She holds me accountable and helps me to do my best, but is also gracious and kind. She helps me navigate through uncomfortable situations at work and is a role model for me.
Chapter 25:
My initial thought about this chapter was that eye contact is what we use to humanize people. When we pass by homeless people we don’t want to acknowledge, we avoid eye contact. Eye contact is the most important nonverbal communication that we use everyday. Chapter 26:
one quiet moment I find every day is in the morning for around 20 minutes, i sit and eat breakfast by myself every day. It is pretty difficult for me to find a quiet moment, so I delegate my time in the morning to be able to take a break, get off my phone, and enjoy doing nothing
Chapter 27: one time I have “let go” of a situation is when one of my close friends said something offensive to me that I felt she was politically incorrect for. Instead of trying to “educate” her, I realized that our friendship was worth more than this small situation. I realized that I am not always politically correct in my actions and words and it would be unfair to hold her to a higher standard. This helped me move on from the situation
#28: describe a situation in which you didn’t seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict? One time this occurred is when my dad told us that we needed to come home right away because we had his car going christmas shopping. I simply got angry and drove home. When we got home I realized that my dad wanted to pack up the car with skis so we could go skiing the next day but he had to do it before it got dark because of his vision. There was resolution because i wasn’t angry anymore
#29 One person you can genuinely talk to. Describe this relationship.
I know that no matter what, I can tell Winnie my problems and she will listen. Even though she’s probably the stupidest dog out there and doesn’t know how to push something over, she can tell when I’m upset and she’ll sit with me.
#30 Describe one time you lost your Sh and in reality it wasn’t worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontatiomn? Could it have gone differently?
Too frequently I get upset with gideon. I yelled at him this morning for making us late to seminary because i despise being late. If I hadn’t yelled at him this morning, we may have had a better start to our day because it’s hard enough to be up at 5:30 am much less up and angry.
# 31 describe a time where you were in a bad mood. how did it affect your day?
one time i was in a bad mood when i was going to work. my phone wasn’t working and kept dying with high percentage and i let it affect my attitude. I ended up getting frustrated and made things worse and let it affect my performance at work.